I want to talk to you about a very important subject, a very important topic in leadership, which is a leader's mirror. I have written about it in one of my books, and I think it is very important that each of us know exactly what a leader's mirror is. Now, let me ask you something. Have you ever looked into a leadership mirror and asked yourself why you are where you are in your career? Have you reached some or any of the dreams that you have imagined as a child? Now, I'm not talking about the American dream of a big house with a branded car in the driveway and a high-paying job. Unless, of course, that is your dream, which is fine. What I am really talking about here is where you are in terms of your purpose in your career life. Are things stacking up and going the way that you are expecting them to go? See, my friends, in today's fast-paced, complex world, leaders need mirrors, and the mirror they need, however, goes far beyond reflecting their physical appearance. Leaders need mirrors that reflect their inner behaviors and the impact their behavior has on others. We need mirrors that will help us grow internally so we can manifest externally.
I remember when I was young, I never really thought I suffered from low self-esteem, but as I got older, I certainly did realize that there were many things that I needed to work on. Most people do not really reach their full potential due to low self-esteem. A few years back, I was coaching an entrepreneur who runs online math classes for college students, so she was excellent at her work and wanted me to help her expand her business. Now, during the coaching, I got to know she was very frustrated with the way she was treated by her husband and kids. She felt they did not respect her work and work timings. She felt they treated her poorly and took her and her work for granted. But today, she is a confident woman who is a successful businessperson and, above all, is treated with respect and dignity by her family, including being highly valued. What brought about this change in her behavior? Well, apart from advising her on how to lead her business, I taught her to look into the leader's mirror that changed her life, both professionally and personally. It's the same mirror I applied in my life to raise my self-esteem. It's the same mirror I taught a client of mine to look into, who is a successful fashion designer for Hollywood actors, and who, in her early career life, went through a phase of being treated like trash in the media industry. It's a leader's mirror of discovery. Self-discovery. A leader's discovery. A mirror is an internal mirror where you can look at yourself and work on yourself. It's a space not for a monologue, but a dialogue. It's a rich, delicious, courageous conversation you have with yourself.
A leader's mirror is twofold—one where you discover your strengths and weaknesses, and the other where you appreciate yourself, where you understand your value, where you understand what you're bringing to the table and how you're supposed to raise it. You can discover your own strengths and weaknesses by looking into the mirror, into the leader's mirror, and asking yourself three powerful questions. Number one, what kind of a leader am I? Number two, what kind of a leader do I want to become? And number three, what do I want to be known for? You can then look into that mirror and appreciate yourself by coming up with an ending for each of the following sentences. Let me give you a few. You can start each of the sentences with your name. So there's a blank, and then you put your name there and you say, I am proud of you for... and then you complete the sentence. And then again, you put your name, second sentence, and you say, I forgive you for... and then you continue the sentence. And the last one, put your name and say, I love you for... and continue the sentence. You have to be very honest with yourself before you are even leading a team. If you don't know yourself well, if you don't know who you are, if you are not able to discover yourself internally, what makes you feel that you will be able to discover things in your teams? How are you going to help them grow? How are you going to empower them? See, my friend, leadership is very simple. It's not a complex game that we are playing, but at the same time, you have to work so much on yourself.
Otherwise, you're going to hit a plateau in your career very soon. You're going to hit a plateau in your career, and you're going to be stuck in the mid-level. If you want to grow—and the growth is not just hierarchy—I'm talking if you want to grow in your field of work, you have to work on yourself. You have the skills. But what are you doing on yourself? You be very honest when you're completing these sentences, which I spoke to you about, because your answers to both of these above sets will reflect back to you the feelings that you have about yourself. You have to know how to uplift your days, and you have to know how to uplift yourself. You cannot be a person who allows a bad moment to become a bad day, and then be in that cycle, and then wonder why your results are not changing. Your answers have to reflect your true feelings. It makes you immediately aware of where you are resisting and where you are open and flowing. It clearly shows what you are known for. It clearly shows what your thoughts are and how you need to change. If you want to have a joyous and fulfilling career life, my friend, your outer world is a direct reflection of your inner world. The results that you are achieving in your career life are all because of what's going on inside of you. If you want to change the world that you see, start working on your inner world. If you want to make your results better, begin to work on yourself. Your reality is merely a mirror reflecting on your inner world.
Your Good Friend and Mentor
Payal Nanjiani
Read Payal's New Book - "MAKE IT TO THE TOP".
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